Hello, My Name Is Alanna and I Have PMD

That would be Post Marathon Depression. This post-race period has got me down. I ran my marathon on 10 October. Since then it's been a downhill slide. Honestly. I've had one week since then that I'm remotely okay with, meaning I ran 3 times. Now I know that you can get post-race blues, but I had no idea that it'd be this bad.

There are a few contributing factors:

* No immediate goal. I am planning on signing up for the next marathon clinic however it doesn't start until 30 December. So I'm in maintenance until then. If I had lots of money I'd sign up for the half marathon clinic that started last week (and overlaps for about 6 weeks) just so I would have something to be committed to.

* I have been "in training" for the last year and a half. I started running in May 2009 with a learn-to-run clinic, moved on to the 10km in September, the half marathon that October and ran my first half in February 2010. Then I trained for my second half myself - which sucked (the training, not the race - that was a PR) as I obviously need the structure of an in-store program - and started working toward the full in June. I really don't think that it's running overload or burnout - I don't run nearly enough for it to be burnout. Apparently I just don't know what to do with myself now that there's no accountability.

* I have to take Spud with me. It's not a selfish thing - I don't mind that he's with me (and talks non-stop for the run until he falls asleep). It's that I mind having to push him. That stroller is heavy. With Spud in it it's over 60lbs. And I don't live in a flat neighbourhood. So, yes, it's complaining a little - I know lots of you run with doubles! - I'm just not used to it and it bugs me because it makes me even slower than I already am. I get good workouts, but I don't necessarily feel good about them (make sense?). Even if Colin comes with us I still have to push since it starts to aggravate his knee/IT band if he does.

* It's dark out now in the evenings (and darker earlier once daylight savings ends on Sunday). This means that I can't go out by myself at all. Both Colin and I aren't comfortable with me going out by myself in the mornings - and, let's face it, I love my sleep more than most - and the same goes for nighttime. We live in a suburban area, but there's enough crime around that it's really not safe. It's pretty much a "better safe than sorry" attitude.

So that's what's wrong with my running life right now. I'm really not sure how to remedy it. I'll go out for runs regardless, but there's a part of me that thinks "what's the point?" if I'm not really getting anything out of it. It's more than the slight funk I thought I was in. I can't give up on it. I won't give up on it. If I want to do well at all in May then I need to up my game, so to speak. I can't really cruise through training like I did this summer. I need to take it more seriously.

Any advice to help me get out of my head?